Hi. Now you say something.
Hi. John’s answering machine is broken. This is the refrigerator. Please speak very slowly, and I’ll stick your message to myself with one of these magnets.
Hi. I am probably home. I’m just avoiding someone I don’t like. Leave me a message, and if I don’t call back, it’s you.
If you are a burglar, then we’re probably home cleaning our weapons right now and can’t come to the phone. Otherwise, we probably aren’t home and it’s safe to leave a message.
My time is billed at $125 per hour. Please begin your message with your MasterCard or Visa number, card type, and date of expiration. I’ll get back to you pending credit approval.
Please leave a message. However, you have the right to remain silent. Everything you say will be recorded and will be used by us.
You’re growing tired. Your eyelids are getting heavy. You feel very sleepy now. You are gradually losing your willpower and your ability to resist suggestions. When you hear the tone you will feel helplessly compelled to leave your name, number, and a message.
WE ARE BORG. RESISTANCE IS FUTILE. YOU WILL BE ASSIMILATED. But we’re not home right now. So leave a message at the tone, and we’ll assimilate you later.